quirkster’s Neighborhood

What is the best present you have ever given?
Submitted by quornflour.

Dear old Tante's hand-knitted sweater, of course! You can't see here, but it's a lovely bright purple. The folks I kept trying to give it to never seemed very excited about it. Usually after the first five minutes of trying to get it on, they remembered something they needed to do, and ran off. What is it what kids these days? Rush, rush, rush. Stop and enjoy life, I always say! Then I'd have to find someone else to wear it, and somehow, it just never happened.

Say...you're about the right size...here, hold still and I'll pull it on over your head. Hey, hold still! You'll strangle yourself on the fourth sleeve if you don't stop wiggling!

*sighs, shaking head, watching the heels in the distance, sweater dangling from gnarled hands*

What's your favorite kind of homemade cookie?  Share the recipe if you have it.

My son Terence is the best cook of my sons. Second to his skunk stew, this is my favorite:

Dried fish cookies

• Three handfuls flour
• One scoop venison lard
• One scoop of wild honey
  
• Root of one mallow, boiled until gooey
• Half a handful of any available seeds or grains, roasted
  
• Salt
• Dried fish, pounded into pieces about the size of your thumb

Work everything but the fish into a thick crumble, then press bits of the dried fish into the dough. Form into balls and partly flatten between your palms. Bake in your clay oven or a heavy, lidded cauldron until somewhat solidified and the tails are brown and crispy.

Terence has many extras he adds when we have them, which I find quite the holiday treat. Some eel or frog extract really brings out the fish, and wild mountain kale adds to the color and chewiness.

Hello, young'un! It's nice to see a new face here!

Being new here myself, what can you tell me about this place? Some place for good entertainment or food? A bit of brawling, maybe?

Me? Oh, I've just been wandering and happened to find my way here. It's much warmer than the mountains this time of the year. Sure, there's snow, but it isn't chomping away at my old bones like the weather back home.

Home? Erm, the mountains, yes...
And you? Where are you from? Wherever it is, you've grown up all nice-like. *cackles* Maybe you know a lassie back home looking for a husband? See, George, my middle son, is looking for a wife. He's the best cook of all of 'em, why his skunk cabbage stew is the best for miles around! Strong and handsome, too. Have I shown you pictures of my sons yet? They're such good boys, so respectful of their old mother. *flips open a book of pictures, all almost the same* See, Lucius here is the best hunter. So quiet he can sneak up on a deer and tweak its nose before it even notices. Malfis, my youngest, is so cute, though! I just want to pinch his chee...

What was that? These old ears didn't catch that.

Oh, you have business elsewhere? How sad to leave an old lady on her own. Let me at least buy you a drink before you go...

*shrugs* All right, if you must.

*leans back in the chair and begins snoring raucously, hat tassel swinging ever so slightly*